You live in a room in a college where you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because your roommate always has friends visiting. He/She has parties in the room and sometimes borrows your things without asking you.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to inform you that I wish to move into a new room next term. I would prefer a single room, as I find the present sharing arrangement inconvenient.
I must explain that the reason for my dissatisfaction is my roommate’s inconsiderate behavior. For one thing, his friends are constantly visiting him, for another, he regularly holds noisy parties. In addition, he sometimes borrows my things without asking me. In these circumstances, I find it difficult to concentrate on my studies, and I am falling behind in my assignments.
I am sure you will agree that the only solution is for me to move into a room of my own, where I will be free from such distractions. Therefore, I would be grateful if you could find a single room for me, preferably not in the same building but as near to the college campus as possible.
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my room-mate. As your know we share one room, I can not study in the room at all any more if I still stay there.
She always has friend visiting and has parties in the room. They make lots of noise and switch on the radio very loudly, for me this environment is very difficult to study and I need a quiet room. Even borrows my things without asking, it is very impolite.
I request you can give me a new room next term because I have been asked her has parties in other place many times they still have parties in the room. I really can not stay in the same room with her.
I would be grateful if you could change me a single room.
EXAMINER COMMENT: (Band 5)
The answer is below the word limit and there is some repetition of the task rubric. (Length is a common problem in General Training scripts). Answers that are short lose marks because there is insufficient material in the answer for the examiner to give credit for accuracy and coherence. Despite these problems, the introduction to the letter is appropriate and the purpose of the writer is clear. The points are not always linked together well and punctuation is sometimes faulty. The sentences are kept quite simple and mistakes occur as soon as more complex structures are attempted.
Dear Sir, Dear Lacking
I am writing you to express my dissatisfaction with my room-mate and request for another accommodation next term.
My main problem is that I cannot study in my room because my room-mate always has friends visiting. He also has parties, which usually ends early in the morning, several times a week. Furthermore he often borrows my things without asking me.
I cannot accept this situation any layer. Especially because I have very important exams next term and I really must study hard. This is why I would be very grateful if I could have another room next term. It would be most convenient for me not having to share my room with somebody else.
I am looking forward to hear from you soon.
EXAMINER COMMENT: (Band 7)
The answer is also short. Although ideas are often provided in the task rubric, candidates are at liberty to include some of their own ideas in their answers. In this case, the candidate has attempted to incorporate some original material. The answer reads quite fluently, is well organised and there is good use of conjunctions to link points. There are some grammatical errors but these do not affect the reader greatly and there is evidence of some more complex sentence structures.